Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
