I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i think i have herpe
just one?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
as a side note pls kill me
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