So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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