yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
