Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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