Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
