you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
