Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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