He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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