Cold hands, warm shart.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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