Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
