shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
