Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize