This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
