Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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