Pappa wants mamma naked
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
