Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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