my room smells like sperm. sweet.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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