i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize