how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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