Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
