I am puke
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have aggressive nipples.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
