so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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