It's Friday. Sex?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
