White coat. Heels.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
