Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
