You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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