Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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