i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Drake has all the answers
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
