She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
