i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
