i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
They took my balls.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
40s are totally the cure
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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