I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
