I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
