You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
