Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
