I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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