my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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