Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
