we should wear snuggies to the strip club
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
