he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize