OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The Olympian is in my bed
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
