I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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