Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize