FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
