I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
zippers are such a cool invention
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
