Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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