The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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