One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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