O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
