sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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