Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
ugly people sure do ruin things
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
