Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
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