Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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