Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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