I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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