so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
