Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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