My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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