I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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