I wannas sexs uuuuu
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
