worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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