if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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